Portland Therapy Blog
Local experts share the latest information and resources on all things mental health.
So you’re thinking about cheating on your partner? Maybe the honeymoon is over. Maybe you don’t have as much sex. Maybe you’ve been married for a while and it’s not as hot as you thought it would be. Maybe you met someone who is totally the opposite of your current partner and now you are questioning everything because you’re attracted to them. Maybe you’re just bored. There are tons of reasons for wanting to cheat and none of them are that original. I’ve heard them all.
I’ve been thinking a lot about shame lately. One difficult thing about shame is that it compounds on itself, similar to having to pay interest on a loan. And the interest rate is high. If you only make the minimum payment, it will take a long time to pay off and you will end up paying much more than the original cost. Shame says, “You’re not worthy of living a full life,” and it uses an array of scare tactics to keep you prisoner. Shame is like an infection of the psyche that perpetuates itself whenever it gets the chance.
While Portland is known for its "green" policies and contentious urban planning, clients may still experience profound stress as childhood memories of landscapes, open fields, and less crowded neighborhoods are destroyed and replaced with modern construction.
Everyone deals with loss in a different way. Sometimes you go through the classic five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But often we don’t go through all the stages in a linear fashion and sometimes we don’t go through some of the stages at all.