Day Adams

Day Adams (he/him)

Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

MA

Supervisor: Paula Emerick, LMFT

"To learn which questions are unanswerable, and not to answer them: this skill is most needful in times of stress and darkness." - Le Guin

Client Status

accepting clients

Contact

Portland, 97202

At a Glance

Me

Rate: $120-$185

Provides free initial consultation

Practicing Since: 2021

Languages: English

Services

  • Individual
  • Family
  • Relationship

Insurances Accepted

  • Out of Pocket
  • Out of Network

My Ideal Client

People I work with may be: - struggling to engage meaningfully in their lives and relationships - seeking individual therapy to support couples therapy - wanting to understand and change after having an affair - having difficulty communicating and connecting in a partnership - wanting to feel closer as adults in a family together (siblings, parent/child, extended/chosen family) - wanting to explore ideas and experiences around masculinity - navigating feelings about being new dads

My Approach to Helping

I practice narrative therapy in a warm, conversational, and practical way, often incorporating writing of some kind. I believe therapy is a collaborative process in pursuit of preferred ways of living, facilitating different kinds of attention, perspective, and relationship. I'll accompany you in your search for understanding and welcome your curiosity, feelings, and reflections into our conversations. I'm here to help you articulate and foreground what you value and cherish most and to tell the meaningful stories of your life, painful, joyful, and in-between. I know you walk your own path, and where you head is up to you - it’s my honor to help you uncover and recover the skills and knowledges most needed to move in that direction with all possible resilience, flexibility, and a sense of connection with others.

Why I Became a Therapist

I chose to pursue the work of relational therapy under the spell of a great curiosity and love for the diverse lives and relationships of this world. Partly this love and curiosity emerged from my own learning about how to navigate life and relationships as a man, in a society that has a wide variance of ideas about what that means. Partly it came about through my own experiences, both nourishing and difficult or confusing, in relationships of all kinds, with family, friends, and partners. Through personal relationships, education and clinical training, my own therapeutic experiences, and the many conversations with people I work with, I’m centering the idea that meaningful connection is the crucial element to living the lives we want to live.

Techniques I Use

Specialties

  • Narrative  External link

    Narrative therapy is a collaborative, non-pathologizing therapeutic approach. Two central ideas of this approach are that people are separate from problems and that we make meaning, act, and relate based on the stories that we know about our lives and the world. I first met narrative therapy in my graduate program and have since done extended graduate-level narrative therapy development through the Evanston Family Therapy Center.

  • Feminist External link

    To me, a feminist approach to therapy involves being aware and critical of power differences and the way that narrow and culturally-influenced ideas about our identities can negatively impact our wellbeing. I try to center often-marginalized voices and question what might seem like "common sense". I work hard to practice therapy as horizontally as possible, leaning on collaboration around direction, self-disclosure, and not pretending to have the best answers.

  • Relational  External link

    I was educated and trained at Lewis & Clark to practice therapy in a relational way. To me that means always recognizing that we are not just individuals cut off from the world and acting in a vacuum. We are fundamentally in connection with others, from before birth until long after death, and that, more than anything else, is what gives our lives shape and meaning. I do my best to always honor and center that connectedness in the therapeutic relationship.

Issues I Treat

Specialties

  • Relationship / Marriage Issues External link

    Conflict exists in all relationships, but it can get disconnecting and distressing. Habits, expectations, and values all impact how we collaborate with the people we love. Through talk about how we experience these things with our partners, we open doors to being able to relate in preferred ways and reconnect. I also work individually with people who have engaged in affairs and want to understand and change those behaviors, as well as individuals concurrently in couples/relational therapy.

  • Men's Issues External link

    Men face a particular array of challenges these days and we are prone to feeling isolated and burdened with expectations and uncertainty. It can be helpful to have a space to talk with another man and consider what we're up against and what might be done to live in preferred ways. It's my honor to hold space for men to share what's really on their hearts and minds and talk it through together.

  • Political Climate External link

    This historical moment is a scary one for many people. I believe we take care of us and that therapy can play an influential role in how we orient and respond to what is happening. As a leftist and someone who has been involved in a variety of leftist organizing and political projects, I feel strongly about how personal and political struggles are interwoven and how acting collectively with others has a powerful influence on our own sense of agency and hope for a better future.

  • Family Conflict External link

    Families bear all kinds of histories, as well as habits of living, communicating, and connecting. Not only this, but they must also grow and change together over time, as everyone involved is always in the process of "growing up". This can cause all manner of stuck or sore spots. Let's take the time to slow down, explore what has influenced the relationship to be the way it is and determine ways of being together through life's changes that feel more connective.

  • Personal Growth External link

    Everybody grows and changes throughout their lives, sometimes in preferred ways and often in unexpected ways. There is a kind of power in exploring and learning how to make the kind of commitment and direct the kind of energy necessary to develop those areas of life that seem most vital.

Contact Day

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